Gaia Community: KareAnderson's Blog

Sayings for Making Life Meaningful – With Others

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:27:13 GMT

Here’s to living a greater life and accomplishing greater things together than we can on our own:

“It is only through disruptions and confusion that we grow, jarred out of ourselves by the collision of someone else’s private world with our own. “ ~ Joyce Carol Oates

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~ Carl Jung

“We judge others by their acts, but ourselves by our intentions.” ~ American proverb

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances. If there is any reaction then both are changed.” ~ Carl Jung

“Mutual understanding and the human touch are in inverse relationship to frequency of encounter and kinship.” ~ Yi Tuan

“A true leader is not one you look up to because they are the best. A true leader is one that draws the best out in you.” ~ Anne Warfield

“A community is like a ship; everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm.” ~ Henrik Warfield

“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” ~ anonymous

“It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust.” ~ Samuel Johnson

“You can’t stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.” ~ Jay Leno

“In each action we must look beyond the action at our past, present, and future state, and at others whom it affects, and see the relations of all those things. And then we shall be very cautious.” ~ Blaise Pascal

“In the religion of love to pray is to pass, by a single word, into the inner chamber of the other.” ~ Galway Kinnell

“A riot is at bottom the language of the unheard.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“To love another person is to see the face of God.” ~ Victor Hugo

“The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.” ~ James Arthur Baldwin

“Conversation means being able to disagree and still continue the discussion.” ~ Dwight Macdonald

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main… any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” ~ John Donne “All value resides in individuals. Value is distributed in individual space. Relalationship economic is the framework for wealth creation. Deep support is the new metaproduct. ~ Shshanna Zuboff

“There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that is an idea whose time has come.” ~ Victor Hugo

“We didn’t come over on the same ship, but were all in the same boat.” ~ Bernard M. Baruch

“The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, I was wrong.” ~ Sydney J. Harris

“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

“It is not in numbers, but in unity, that our great strength lies…” ~ Tom Paine

“Man does not weave this web of life. He is merely a strand of it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.” ~ Chief Seattle

“Many candles can be kindled from one candle without diminishing it.” ~ The Midrash

Tags: me2we, say it better, inspiration, collaboration, friendship, numinosity

Template Your Biz to Increase Profits Via Others’ Success With It

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:10:05 GMT

Ugandan women sell health, using the Avon ladies’ approach. Yes, door-to-door outreach looks different in villages than in American suburbs.

But a template leverages profits faster for them, and for you. The same woman-to-woman franchise that sold creams and make-up in the U.S. is selling preventive know-how to stop malaria, diarrhea and TB in over 100 countries. Using a micro-finance template to franchising, LivingGoods, based here in my town of Sausalito, has built “an $8 billion business with over five million agents.” These “mobile health entrepreneurs” get uniforms, training, promotional support and quality monitoring. Like Delancey Street, LivingGoods provides all the tools to actually change behavior as described in Influencer.

The licensed agents are not taught to shame people out of dangerous health habits.

Telling clients what they should do doesn’t work. Instead, Albert Bandura advises, link people’s actions to their values. Influence expert, William Miller told the authors of Influencer:

• “The more you try to control others, the less control you gain.

• The instant you stop trying to impose your agenda on others, you eliminate the fight for control.

• You sidestep irrelevant battles over whose view of the world is correct.”

• Instead:

- Ask what better outcome someone wants, listening closely

- Then offer suggestions that help her reach those outcomes, offering steady support over time.

Living Goods agents gain confidence and make more money over time as they get frequent, consistent feedback on their skill-building progress.

You, too, can adopt the Leveraging Effect

The LivingGoods template is scalable. It can be replicated elsewhere – and honed over time because those who use it experience direct benefit from improving it. Similarly, Nido Qubein’s Great Harvest Bread franchisees enjoy profits and camaraderie by sharing ways to grow their local bakeries faster. To thrive in a down economy, use your skills to craft a template – a business model that you can franchise or license to others – or coach them to implement on their own as Susan Page and Jake have done. (See at moving from me to we)

Tags: social responsibility, knowledge sharing, replicate, scale, living goods, me2we

How to Feel Up in a Down Economy

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 01:02:25 GMT

Only the loony disregard this crashing economy. Yet the prudent recognize it’s vital now to practice resilience, even virtue. It helps to be near friends who feel the same. (Who lifts your spirits?) So it also helps to know that we’re born with a set point for happiness.

The good news is that set point “determines just 50% of happiness. A mere 10% can be attributed to differences in people’s life circumstances – that is, whether they are rich or poor, healthy or unhealthy, married or divorced, etc. This leaves a surprising 40% of our capacity for happiness within our power to change.” That’s the theory of The How of Happiness author, Sonja Lyubomirsky and her two colleagues, Ken Sheldon and David Schkade.

Since we experience negative emotions faster, more intensely and longer, to enjoy life more we must cultivate a 3 to 1 ratio of positive to negative emotions, believes Positivity author Barbara L. Fredrickson.

Her suggestions to achieve this ratio sound familiar:

• Meditate

• Reduce exposure to negative news

• Cultivate kindness

• Connect with nature

She offers a “broaden-and-build” approach. In short, choose how you view a situation. If it makes you feel down, look at the bigger picture. This reminds me of the “make a bigger pie” negotiation technique. When you feel you need more clout among the players in the discussion, involve more people.

As Frederickson notes,” pleasant emotions like hope, inspiration, joy, and well-earned pride literally open us. As the blinders of negativity fall away, we take in more of what surrounds us. We see both the forest and the trees. We appreciate the oneness that binds us instead of the barriers that divide us. Even race becomes irrelevant.”

The benefits of optimism, according to Frederickson:

Positive thinking opens our minds.

Positive thinkers:

• See more of the world around them

• Are more likely to find innovative solutions to problems.

People imbued with positivity are:

• Healthier

• More generous

• More productive

They:

• Bounce back from adversity more quickly

• Make better managers

• Live longer

So, let’s grab more moments to go on a walk/talk, pick up the phone to praise and to share our reasons to be grateful.

Tags: friendship, happiness. ken sheldon, barbara frederickson, me2We, Sonja Lyubomirsky

New Peer2Peer Ways to Rent and Save Money

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:15:58 GMT

Rent a spare room or a couch to frugal travelers. A backyard can become a mini-camp ground in Sweden.

To preserve cash in this bad economy many of us will rent.

That’s why peer2peer renting is getting popular. From lawn edgers to bands you can now Hire Things in New Zealand or, in Britain and U.S., from Zilok.

What do you need temporarily? What have you got to rent?

There are more upsides to renting for us. Like the successful private parking and coworking places, literally getting closer can cut your carbon footprint, and lead to unexpected friendships or business partners.

Tags: peer2peer, carbon footprint, sharing, saving, adventure, friendship, zilok

Build Strong Teams the Obama Way

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 20:13:52 GMT

We can be stakeholders in the future of the U.S., not free-riders. We are called to participate in its renewal. Not only can we do what is asked but we’re being asked what should be done.

In true Me2We style Obama keeps assuming that you and I can

recruit teams of rivals (and participate in other teams) to get things done better – and lift our world together. And we keep proving him right. Beyond volunteering today, find a need that you can fill - with others’ help. Regularly practiced responsibility is like any habit. It becomes second nature after awhile. The key is regularity.

I started small, in the hopes I will keep it up, joining a few others, stacking shelves at my local food bank. Being a part of this unlikely team of convivial misfits feeds my soul. Plus I improved my storyboarding method by adapting our team leader’s innovation. He suggested boxing and labeling stuff by who was using the food. For example, “Parent, infant, 2 kids” or “2 adults” or “diabetic.” (I just wish I had Buffy Wicks’ talents.)

As Obama said yesterday, ““If we could just recognize ourselves in one another …” and today, “Don’t underestimate the power of people who join together…”

Here’s six keys to cultivating thriving teams like the thousands created during the “get it done”, “no drama” Obama campaign:

1. Be specific about the top, actionable goal of the group.

2. Identify what needs to be done to reach the goal, then recruit individuals who have the specific talents or other resources to get those tasks done.

3. Approach each person by describing the goal, the specific way each one can help achieve it and why it would benefit that person; then describe the Sweet Spot of mutual benefit for all teammates to participate.

4. Review above 3 items with everyone when first meeting together; ask for improvements in the goal and if others should be recruited to accomplish it; then agree on who should facilitate the group.

5. Seek agreement on the Rules of Engagement by which your group will operate and on the timetable.

6. When the goal is met, de-brief on what worked and what didn’t, then discuss other possible goals for which some or all team mates may want to work together again.

Speaking of teamwork, Patrick May predicted that today will be the “most socially networked moment in history.” Ironically those out and about in D.C. may not be participating because their mobile phones (talking, texting and sending videos and photos) have already overloaded the networks. The rest of us could join in at several sites.

MovingFromMeToWe

Tags: teamwork, friendship, allies, help, support, accomplishment

What was the last thing you shared?

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:10:35 GMT

A kiss this morning

Tags: QaR, sharing, shared, generosity, abundance

Beyond the Sharks: Make Your Class Come Alive With YouTube Vignet

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:07:03 GMT

Shark and dolphin stories grab students’ interest but attention wanes when it comes to sponges, mollusks, starfish and their kin. A marine biology professor in Maine learned from his son on how to keep his students involved.

A lesson that any teacher - or trainer, coach or speaker - could adapt. The Me2We part is that this approach involves showcasing the best work of people in your field – and other areas of interest where you see a connection to your message. Plus your presentation, showcasing their work may attract them to suggest collaboration with them.

I’ll bet professor Robert Klose enabled students to literally picture the innate importance of that fragile web of “exotic invertebrate” life that supports the larger animals in the ocean – and thus us. It helps, of course, that he’s an extraordinary writer.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Be More Valuable By Increasing Your Mental Ambidexterity

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:06:05 GMT

In a bad economy don’t be blind to opportunities. Use your limited resources well. Savor your work with others. Hackneyed advice? Yes. Yet you can increase your chances for all three

by hiring, partnering or otherwise collaborating with people who, like Leonardo Da Vinci, “cultivate ambidexterity.” They use their whole mind. They are often outliers.

Such multi-talented people are innately oriented towards

cross-training. Fewer people (who are ambidexterous) can do more better. Also, per Steve Neiderhauser, they “can imagine the future” in ways that “a linear worker” cannot. To anchor in your mind this notion of cultivating diverse talents (in this case, art and technology) read about the bronze horse “That Never Was .”

Here’s good news. You can alter your brain’s capacity at any age. Read How the Brain Changes Itself by one of my heroes, Dr. Norman Doidge.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

What’s Your Blog’s Personality? Find Out Quickly

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:04:30 GMT

You may recall your Myers-Briggs type. Now, via Typealyzer, discover your blog’s personality type. Find out in seconds – complete with a description and diagam of your blog’s type. As an

INTJ (if I remember right) I somehow write an ISTJ (Duty Fulfiller) blog - just like Mark Cuban. Those results may surprise my friends and the SEC. My other blog is typed as an INTJ (Scientist).

I don’t know about the accuracy of the underlying ”uClassify” technology created by the Swedes at PRfekt but it sure is captivating. Since many of us are tempted to see how others’ blogs get categorized after we check our own – Typealyzer may go viral. It is free after all. In true Me2We fashion the inventors are asking for our ideas about other ways to use this technology.

Don’t stop now. GenderAnalyzer also uses uClassify to determine whether a blog is written by a man or a woman. (How will you feel if they get it wrong?) There’s more. If I compared your writing to a well-known writer – who would that author be?

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

“How much you groom somebody else …

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:03:30 GMT

… is more important than who grooms you,”observed Stanford biologist, Robert Sapolsky. He studies baboons, humans, group behavior and stress. “Social support is vital, no matter how healthy you are.”

Suggests psychology professor Dacher Keltner, “Human beings are wired to

care and give and it’s probably our best route to happiness.”

Literally see how we look when we connect well with each other in Keltner’s book due out in January, Born to Be Good. In it 60 photos of human emotions support his view that, “emotion is the key to living the good life and how the path to happiness goes through human emotions that connect people to one another.”

Unlike Robert Greene who advocates power through manipulation. Keltner outlines an approach to attracting great support and friendship through giving, “power to those who can best serve the interests of the group.” Experiments he led with Cameron Anderson, show that such “social intelligence is essential not only to rising to power, but also to keeping it.” The so-called “Machiavellians” who adopted Greene’s approach in the experiments did not retain power in their group.

One reason? Trust brings us closer. Yes that’s obvious, yet Michael Kosfeld’s mind game shows you how. Pamela Paxton and Jeremy Adam Smith found that, in the U.S. trust has been “declining for decades.“

So Keltner bring good news. Our instincts to be ”selfish, individualistic, and competitive” are but “half the story.” His research shows we can build trust and connection by cultivating ”gratitude, amusement, awe and even embarrassment.”

Mourning Mumbai, in giving thanks today consider this Sikh saying, “let all humanity be your sect.”

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Listening is an Act of Love

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:02:15 GMT

A bus driver guides the elderly woman off the bus to an unfamiliar restaurant where she’s meeting friends, then hears her tell him why that day and his help touched her. A teenager confesses her cutting became addictive and how her love of her mother and best friend helps her get by.

Over 23,000 people have sat down in a booth with a simple recorder and a volunteer - ready to tell a life-changing story, to declare their love, acknowledge their regret and more.

At the Story Corp they opened up because someone was ready to listen. As founder, Dave Isay says, “Listening is an Act of Love.” “The stories explode

off the page” admits Isay in his interview today on public radio – my station is KQED.

This is the first ever National Day of Listening - another Story Corps-generated idea. Today we are asked to spend an hour asking a loved one about their life. Don’t be one of those who says later on, “I only wish I had asked my mother and father to tell their stories - and share my story about them.”

Unexpected memories flood back as one sits in a booth for 40 minutes, with someone there just to listen to you. “What was the happiest moment of your life?” “What are you most proud of?” “How do you want to be remembered?”

I didn’t wait for Story Corp to come to Sausalito. Over the past four years I’ve sat several times, small Olympus recorder in hand, at my dining room table with the view of Angel Island in Richardson Bay and asked my parents to tell me about growing up, falling in love, raising us four children – and what they most believe in and why. We continue these conversations sitting in their living room in Portland, looking out at the giant sequoias – the “old growth like us” my Dad observes dryly.

One story I’ve heard since childhood still chokes me up. While soldiers in World War II Dad and his brother Harold, stationed thousand miles apart in the U.S., went AWOL. They were to be sent overseas shortly. From letters my grandmother wrote to them, they located each other and somehow agreed to meet in a cafe in a small town, located mid-distance between them. Dad came first and waited several hours, drinking several cups of coffee and eating a grilled cheese. But when Harold walked in and sat down they mostly talked about small things. The cherries their mom was canning, the songs their sister was playing on the piano for their Lutheran church’s Christmas service, combat training.

Knowing they might not see each other again, they synchronized their watches and made a plan in their usual, logical way. At precisely 2:00 pm, they would rise from the table, walk out the door, one turning left and the other right.

You can have a temporary listening booth in your library, company cafeteria, synagogue, museum, school - or other place where people can walk in, sit down and tell a story that has stuck in their mind over the years. Bring a family member or friend. Volunteer to hear and record stories for a couple of hours.

A Story Corp booth has just been installed across the water in San Francisco at the beautiful new Contemporary Jewish Museum – a place dedicated to offering art and culture to the whole community. How apt a place to listen and to be heard as we mourn for the rabbi, his wife and over 100 others who were killed this week in Mumbai.

Listening with friends, tears come to our eyes as we hear individuals tell stories that remain fresh in their mind years after they happened.

Continue to give thanks by listening because, as Issay reminds us, “Every life matters.” In this faltering economy why not create a priceless, heirloom gift for your loved ones?

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Told You Look Tired - But You Aren’t?

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 00:01:07 GMT

To look rested fix your drooping eyelids. More than any other facial plastic surgery that change will make you look more rested. Not for you? Override that perception with a smile. A genuine smile transforms one’s face.

Per Guillaume Duchenne and Paul Ekman, that is one where the corners of your mouth turn up, your cheeks lift and crows-feet wrinkles appear around the eyes. Just smiling can lift your mood – and that of others around you, bringing them closer. Wonder if another’s smile is genuine?

The part of the face we can’t fake is moving the muscles around the eyes. See if you can spot a false smile. Or hear a smile. Or see how con-men make their faces look trustworthy.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Storyboard Your Way to Being a Sought-after Spokesperson

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:59:43 GMT

Attract a crowd to your event or brand by giving them bragging rights. Vicki Smith creates a post-event storyboarding experience where enthusiasts see almost moment-by-moment coverage of motorcycle events featuring the elegant Ducatis - in a captioned sequence of photos. In short, what she dubs a “photo web story” is designed to tell the story of the event or weekend. More importantly it lets people that didn’t attend feel like they were there and potentially plan to attend the next one.”

Last month her Ducati photo stories’ site had close to a half million page views

of previous events. Got your attention? With Vicki’s permission, here’s her lightly-edited description of this crowd-attracting Me2We method.

The Rewards

• It’s photo journalism but without the cost restraints of traditional media so you can be much more in depth.

• These stories are quite popular, getting many web visits month after month. A yearly event I did last year in March was still getting hits in November (close to 18,000).

• Because I have been doing this for specific types of events (motorcycle events and travel related photography), and posting them all to a central area, this website now enjoys a steady traffic of people interested in motorcycles or travel. (She created popular portals for participatory photo stories around two hot interests.)

That makes Vicki a valuable spokesperson for Ducati. What product, service, annual conference or other event, cause or issue do you want to tout - and perhaps also be rewarded for doing so?

Dog shows. Before and after stories like home or office renovations. What ’s your passionate interest? How can you cover events related to it, invite others to add their color commentary, then seek online and in-person sponsorships - for you would-be spokesperson and for online community?

The Methods

• People are able to comment on the galleries. Some commenters, like the Italian trip ones are largely from people that participated.

• But some event galleries were a surprise to the participants. Many people did not get to attend but heard about it from people who were there and wanted to participate. They did so by adding their comments. It helped them feel like they were there.

• It’s cost effective if you happen to be handy with a camera (I am) but even with the price of a photographer included it’s hard not to see the benefit of the ongoing promotion.

See other ways to harness technology (even if you are not a geek) to make an event more involving - and attract a larger crowd next time.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Co-Create Short Films of Holida

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:58:35 GMT

Some people duct-tape small cameras to their dogs’ collars to see life from another perspective. (Dog is their co-pilot) Yet you can enlist human friends to co-cover the scenes of your lives. AmericanWinery, for example, sent Flip video cameras to their winery partners, inviting them to record “daily operations, tastings, harvest footage” and other glimpses at the back stories behind wine lovers’ favorite wines, then email back their footage.AmericanWinery then edited them into a short clip and posted it on their site and elsewhere. That Me2We partnership brought vintners’ and wine buyers closer. The folks at Clifton Park-Halfmoon Library co-created a short film to promote their summer reading club.

For fun, why not co-cover your holiday or other gathering? Direct a multi-camera shoot to create a short film, easily

edited by you and others you recruit to also video the celebration. Imagine showing many sides of the unfolding scenes,

quick cutaways and zoom in close-ups. A DIY delight – now made easy by Flip video. It passes the “one-minute” test. Mine, a gift, is orange. (No I have no financial connection to the firm).

It is an iPod-like, simple, sleek point-and-shoot camcorder. You’ve probably seen them or may have one. Since it is small, I am more inclined to carry it with me and shoot the unexpected scenes – like the manicurist sitting on a small stool on bustling, gritty Market Street in San Francisco, carefully sanding the fingernails of an entranced homeless woman. This camera makes it easy to video, plug into my computer to upload, edit and send to friends or post to YouTube or other places. Warning: the quality is not as high as larger camcorders.

Back to the Me2We part of this story. Turn the solo activity of videoing, editing then sending scenes to others into a chance to co-cover a gathering - with friends. For example, try a three-camera shoot to co-create a short-film.

Who could be the cadre of photographers?

• Young cousins or siblings at a family celebration – to enable them to play together yet stay involved with the adults.

• An incoming committee of a club or association, so they get to know each other in a fun way.

• More reserved people among your different group of friends, coming to your event.

It gives them a way to connect with others. Since the front side of a Flip Mino can now be customized via a SmartPartnership with CafePress, your personalized camera will be a conversation-starter.

Co-Filmmakers Collaborate in Four Easy Steps:

1. What’s Our Storyline?

Discuss, in advance what to shoot: how to cover it from different angles, what scenes to be sure to cover (toasts, singing, award-giving, etc.), what people to include, how to capture possible opening and closing scenes, etc.

2. Initial Editing.

Each photographer edit what they shot to remove out-of-focus and other excess, then cut the video into segments and upload it to the other photographers. Also grab memorable moments as still shots for your co-videographers and others to create Scrapblog versions of the gathering.

3. Final Cut.

Either agree on one person as your lead editor or take the more complex and potentially fun approach, and co-edit at one photographer’s place.

4. Who Gets to See It?

Agree on your short film’s title and credits (videographers’ names) and how you will share it. Will it be shared only with those at the gathering or also posted in a public place such as You Tube?

Here’s my what-if dream scenario.

What if Pure Digital sponsored a Short Film Stories of Holiday Gatherings contest – open only to co-created submissions. They would give prizes the top Ten Best submissions. Prizes would be more Flip videos to give to friends. To reinforce their partnership with Café Press in a way that would delight us co-videographers, other prizes would be gift coupons to put custom images on the front side of the flips. Some possible contest categories:

• Most Fun to Watch

• Most Inspiring

• Most Varity in People and Scenes

• For a Cause

• Best Editing

• All Videographers Under 10 Years Old

• Most Videographers Involved

You may be inspired to move onto co-creating how-to videos, such as how to snowflake gift wrap.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Working Closer in a Collapsing Economy

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:57:29 GMT

“Even people who are antisocial feel a need to be around other people for at least part of the day while they’re working,” says researcher Laura Forlano. That’s why soloists bootstrapped into being a co-working space in Austin called Conjunctured. Working elbow to elbow around a table or in separate offices often means you are more likely to help each other than those who work alone, they found. Each space has its own personality

and rules. Co-work space is now a burgeoning trend in a bad economy.

In New York there’s the NewWorkCity a building with several digital businesses and space for soloists. Then there’s several shared-space locations called Sunshine Suites. They have the upscale style and the security of a W Hotel, reports Allen Stern.

Over here on the Left Coast, Sasha Vasilyukvia, a writer, and her husband Roman Gelfer, a former equities trader, modified three floors for co-workers in San Francisco at Sandbox Suites. They also host seminars and other events at the site and let those who lease space do the same. I met Sasha via biznik.

Then there’s casual Citizen Space - also in S.F. And the Hat Factory, a funky

space in San Francisco’s Dogpatch has a live-work loft. Three geeks live there and rent space to others during the day. Back in the 1970s in S.F. artists and city planners worked together to revise building codes to support the creation of safe live-work building codes and space in plentiful south-of-Market Street warehouses. Later Silicon Valley hatched their version.

Elsewhere are Office Nomads and Whitespace in Seattle, Nutopia Workspace in Lower Manhattan, Hive Cooperative in Denver and Indy Hall in Philadelphia.

There’s also the Jelly approach to co-working in people’s homes in more than 50 cities worldwide.

Co-working is now a global movement. Some will go green. Perhaps there’s a space near you. A wiki and a directory show that most are in the United States.

Consider creating a co-work space as a business to defray your costs of building ownership or rental - or join one with your kind of atmosphere, amenities, locale, price and peers.

Also, if you want to share work space with others or if you are looking for space for yourself or your team, visit SuiteMatch to find your match for office space.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

“How many friends do you have?”

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:56:31 GMT

What kind are they? How important? As pundits discuss Obama’s frenemies, these questions probe the other side of our psyche. UK sociologists Ray Pahl and Liz Spencer asked them in a study that led to a book, Re-Thinking Friendship. Updating a theme in Bowling Alone, they discovered:

• The average Briton has 18 friends.

• Men were less likely to expect to find close friends at work.

• For women, regular contact with family and friends declined from the mid 1980s.

• In the complicated terrain of modern friendship, we have seven kinds of “personal communities”:

1. Friend-like community: Looks to friends more than family, with close friends at the center of a network, and more casual friends and relatives further away.

2. Friend-enveloped community: Close relatives (offspring and spouse) and at the center and a larger group of friends around the family.

3. Family-like community: Family members outnumber friends but have both.

4. Family-dependent: Family members outnumber friends.

5. Partner-focused: A couple keep friends and relatives at a distance.

6. Neighborhood-focused: Often initiated by older people in close neighborhood communities.

7. Professional-dependent: Also often formed by older folks whose most important friends are caregivers or social workers.

Friends now play more diverse roles in our lives. (Should they have included pets?)

Look at your life through their lens. Draw concentric circles. Put yourself at the center. Then put the people who are vital to you in the inner circle. Add more people to the other circles in order of their importance to you. Use as many or as few of the circles as you find relevant.

In this increasingly transient world, Stuart Jeffries, citing Mark Vernon, warns that we need friends more than ever.

But this reliance comes at a cost. Just as Zygmunt Bauman labeled the liquid modernity of some relationships SDCs (semi-detached couples) Jeffries suggests we now seek “semi-detached friends” (SDCs). “They work harder at making friends than ever before - jabbering into mobile phones, addictively texting, leaping from one chat room to another.

The sense of belonging or security that they create consists in being cocooned in a web of messages rather than finding a soulmate. That way, they hope, the vexing problem of how to achieve a livable balance between freedom and security will disappear.”

Despite Jeffries’ downbeat thoughts, the co-authors found good news in the “persistence of hidden solidarities where family members are considered to be friends and friends take on family-like status.” I heartily agree – a gratifying notion as holidays draw near.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

We Will Not Fight This Holiday

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:55:14 GMT

Rather than a fake-friendly question to highlight his ignorance, a sarcastic retort, shouting or silently seething - try alleviating the friction that’s at the core of the conflict. I’m not saying it’s easy. Yet unsettled resentments usually cause two-way sabotage, in the moment and in the future, so it is worth trying something different to save the relationship.

It’s often about assumptions and

perspective.

Recall, when crossing the street, how many motorists drive too fast and don’t stop for pedestrians? Yet, when driving, you notice how many people jaywalk, dawdle across the street or cross when the light is red.

Here’s some ways we stumble into arguments – and how to stay convivial:

We’re More Emotional This Time of Year (Even Men – They Just Demonstrate it Differently)

• For starters, holidays are times of high feelings now matter who we are so hidden resentments can rise to the surface faster than normal.

We Usually Don’t Say What We Really Feel …

• On top of that problems seldom exist at the level at which they are expressed.

… But We Can Still Argue Because of How We Feel

• In fact, if you are arguing for more than ten minutes you are probably not discussing the real, underlying conflict.

In Difficult Conversations participants often make at least one of three sabotaging assumptions, according to by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen:

1. The Truth assumption: I am right you are wrong.

2. The Intention Invention: When the other person’s intentions are unclear, we often assume they have bad intentions.

3. The Blame Frame: Blame the other person. Then each person gets defensive or worse, stops listening and hardens their position, now more motivated to prove they are right.

To reduce the chance of conflict, shift:

FROM: Certainty (I understand) TO: Curiosity (Help me understand)

FROM: I am right TO: I am curious

FROM: I know what was intended TO:I know the impact

FROM: I know who is to blame TO: I know who contributed what

FROM: Debate TO: Exploration

FROM: Simplicity TO: Complexity

FROM: “Either/or” TO: “And”

Understanding the structure of the conversation as all parties appear to be viewing it. Begin by practicing Stephen Covey’s fifth habit, “Seek first to understand then to be understood.”

Tip: Step into the other person’s shoes.

Rather than becoming defensive – a natural reaction - attempt to see the world their way.

When she frowns she may simply be thinking - unlike another familiar figure in your life who frowns when upset.

Tip: Act as if the other person has your best interests at heart.

You are more likely to prove yourself right. The opposite is also true. Know that, in fractious situations we instinctively expect others to treat us as if we have good intentions. (Innocent until proven guilty.) Yet, wired as we are to survive, we often are slower to trust others’ intentions until we get proof. (Guilty until proven innocent.)

Judy Ringer’s checklist may help you prepare for that difficult conversation.

Double Bottom Line for Rising Above the Fray

1. Look to their positive intent, especially when they appear to have none.

2. Don’t let somebody else determine your behavior.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Imitation is a Big Step Towards LikeAbility

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:54:09 GMT

More than we are consciously aware, we instinctively imitate one another. When around each other we synchronize our body movements, speaking styles and facial expressions. There’s an automaticity to our reactions. But why? Many scientists believe it’s because of our desire to be liked, included in the group. And, at a more primitive level, to survive.

Thus our ability to mimic is

vital to our capacity to connect well with others. It is not “just” a way of communicating nonverbally. It enables us to recognize others’ expressions - and thus their emotions. It helps us empathize.

Ability to Imitate Can Lead to Empathy

We are more likely to be shunned when that capacity is hampered. This was discovered by the pencil experiment conducted by American social psychologist, Paula M. Niedenthal. Two groups were asked to detect changes in the facial expressions of other people. One group was prevented from freely moving their own faces by holding a pencil between their teeth. The pencil restricts the ability to frown, smile, frown or make many other facial expressions. Thus limited in their ability to mimic the expressions they saw in others, those in that group were much less able to recognize changes in others’ emotional facial expressions than participants in the other group. In short, they are less likely to read others’ emotions and to respond in ways that appear trustworthy, likeable or credible.

Perhaps Social Intelligence Begins in Infancy

This dance of imitation to connect starts early. Even one-month-old babies imitate facial expressions. If you look at a baby and open your mouth, the baby will open her mouth. If you stick out your tongue, the baby will often do the same. That’s one of the many reasons that babies who are ignored, such as in some orphanages, suffer from abandonment and low emotional intelligence.

Why Partners Look More Alike Over Time

Imitative behavior helps explain why long-term partners tend to look more alikeover time. Couples who were together for 25 years resembled each other more than random pairs of the same age and than newly-wed couples. John Barg and his

colleagues surmise this might be because they frequently observe and imitate each other’s most common expressions, “producing over time the similarity in facial lines between the two partners.”

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Spreading Joy Isn’t Just a First-Hand Experience

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:52:55 GMT

The sweet scent of the narcissus plant wafts upstairs to me just like the lingering memory of my uphill neighbors, an always upbeat Irish couple in their early eighties. Stopping off on their daily walk, they knocked on my door early this morning to deliver the plant, their holiday gift, knowing I would be up and writing.

When I first moved to Sausalito I sent an invitation in a package of filbert and raspberry cookies (Mom’s Oregon recipe) to about 30 of my closest neighbors. I asked them to drop by for a brief “neighborhood safety” talk from Alicia, our local policewoman. And, of course, coffee, wine and homemade deserts.

One minute it’s quiet. Then, to my surprise, everyone turned up. Three from up the hill crashed the party. Many arrived on the dot of 7:00 pm. Some recognized each other but didn’t know names. By 7:30 the living room, dining room and kitchen were packed and noisy, then some moved out onto the deck and, later, to the front yard to look down on the sparkling bay and backyard on my neglected garden.

How fascinating to find that night that within minutes of my home lived a retired FBI agent, an eco-lodge designer, a fisherman and a hedge fund manager. I had to bang on a kettle to quiet the crowd down so Alicia could give her short talk.

That began a tradition, over the years, of casual, round robin get-togethers at each other’s homes, a shared email and phone list and the habit of referring good plumbers, tree trimmers (a big deal with views at stake) and other trusted services. Now, years later, there are over 300 neighbors (and Alicia and the city manager) on our private google group list. Yet, without discussing it, we’ve tacitly agreed that we don’t use it to promote our businesses or to endorse local candidates.

It is not just the fragrance of the narcissus plant that makes me smile this holiday morning but the synchronicity in opening an email to right after I hugged my Irish neighbors goodbye.

That email had some unexpected results from a study by Nicholas A. Christakis and James H. Fowler about the extraordinary contagion of happiness.

It turns out that:

• When one person is happy, the effect is felt up to three degrees away. Your happiness is connected to the happiness of your friends, their friends’ friends, and their friends’ friends’ friends

• Your friendship with people who are often happy boosts your happiness – and that of people around you.

• Each additional happy friend you have increases your probability of being happy by about 9%.

• Happiness is more viral than unhappiness. Encountering people who feel happy is more uplifting and spreads farther than being around people who are unhappy – your mood goes down less and you are less likely to transmit that down feeling to others you encounter.

• People at the center of a social network tend to be happier than others in their group or the situation. At that holiday party, the person who is enjoying conversations with many people feels more upbeat than those who are talking with fewer people. Fowler suggests, “We think the reason why is because those in the center are more susceptible to the waves of happiness that spread throughout the network.”

• Oddly, when a person becomes happy:

- A friend living close by has a 25 percent higher chance of becoming happier themselves.

- A spouse has only an 8 percent increased chance of happiness.

- Next-door neighbors have a whopping 34 percent increased chance.

For women especially this is a vital alert (it is never too late to host a party or sparkle with others at one) during these emotion-laden holiday times. That’s because, more than men, we women ruminate about regrets, hurts and losses.

So savor each day of this holiday, spreading joy to the world, bathing in the waves of happiness that sometimes ripple back and around you, knowing your happiness may reach others you do not even know.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration

Be Our Leader When That Crisis Hits Next Year

http://savvyher.gaia.com — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 23:51:26 GMT

I was born lucky. At the “up” end of Marty Seligman’s pessimistic/ optimistic temperament continuum. Yet this is my dire prediction for 2009 plus a bit of advice. In this volatile time, the Law of Unintended Consequences will strike repeatedly – in unexpected places. Organizations will need to act quickly but most – large and small – will be unprepared. Unfortunately, most will react.

That’s inevitable as your local and our global economy continues to crater. What isn’t inevitable is

the way you respond. So here’s your three-minute Crisis Response Primer.

Read it now.

The few actions you take now and over time will not take much time. They will ease your mind as you see crisis hit others around you. And – most unexpectedly – they could enable you to act in ways your colleagues actually brag about afterwards.

Avoid the BIG mistake: believing that bad things won’t happen if you don’t think about them.

Most company and other organizational leaders, like most humans in their personal lives, avoid planning for disasters. Because it’s usually a thankless task, we often don’t take action until after a crisis has hit us, someone we know or someone who is like us or in an industry or profession like ours.

Yet, now more than ever, every organization needs a plan. Responding quickly, fully, and truthfully is the only way you can keep the faith of the publics you serve, inside and outside your organization.

Your organization’s advance preparation for several kinds of crisis is all the more crucial today. Why? Because technology enables news to travel farther, faster, and in more ways.

Almost immediately these days, people can learn the “truth” — in several, often conflicting versions — faster, from more places and perspectives, compare their views, and see how those views stack up with those of “the general public.”

Like a tennis game on fast-forward, the ball of “information” and opinions bounces back and forth at warp speed. Some organizations might still be trying to choose a spokesperson while the ball has already made several trips both ways, right over their heads, and they aren’t yet participating in the game about their issue.

And human nature remains the same in one way: bad news always travels faster than good news. What can you do to protect your or your organization’s reputation in the face of a future crisis — inaccurate, incomplete, or biased government or otherwise official or media announcement; or an attack from someone, especially a credible, well-liked, powerful or well-known figure?

1. If You Throw Mud, You Get Dirty

Years ago, the actress Meryl Streep appeared in a woman’s television show interview, holding her young child in her arms. She made a tender picture and — not surprisingly — was eloquent, sincere, but inaccurate as she spoke of her concerns about the danger she believed the waxy coating on apples represented to the health of her child.

Within hours, a chorus of (male) representatives from various growers, marketing boards, and processors were pictured on TV, frowning and speaking in harsh tones as they castigated Streep for her “ignorance” and “irresponsible action.” This continued for some weeks, contributing to the growth of the controversy.

Several nutritionists, characterized by some consumer activists as being “bought off by the industry,” spoke earnestly, obscurely, at great length, and with some ambiguity. Not surprisingly, their quotes were always fully or accurately covered. Finally, two months later, a government report concluded that the waxy coating does not harm young children, something the apple industry already had the facts about but not the approach to being heard.

As a former reporter, I must agree that “the media” is a mighty and not always even-handed animal. Coverage of the report was much less prominent than coverage of the growers’ initial attacks on Streep.

More recently, when the U.S. media announced contamination of certain strawberries, David Reid of the California Strawberry Board immediately briefed the media on how the source of the strawberries was being tracked and when information could be expected. He was open and not defensive with the media about not knowing the source at that time.

When he spoke to reporters, his voice was low and not rushed. He was brief and to the point, and his expression remained genial and concerned.

2. Be Open to Public View

Reid had an “open” face — that is, his eyebrows were slightly raised, and his cheeks and mouth were slightly softened, free of tightness. Why? Because he had practiced before this crisis - because he knew that someday there probably would be one. And he practiced before each interview. Sound artificial?

Consider what is at stake for you and for your company. Perceptions color reality. If you look angry, resentful, and evasive, even when you are telling the truth, people usually trust their eyes first. Make your appearance congruent with your words, and make your message vivid, truthful, compelling, and succinct.

3. No, I Do Not Beat My Wife!

If Reid was asked a negative, emotion-charged question, he did not use the same characterization in responding. He re-framed the question to be more neutral and then responded to it. His goal was to make his characterization of the situation more vividly memorable than anyone else’s, so his would be the question most frequently used in subsequent discussions and media coverage.

Eight Ways to Face a Crisis Before it Happens

1. Picture the Situation and Put in the Practice Before You Need it.

You can’t anticipate every possible disaster, but you can presume the most likely possibilities, at least in broad-brushstroke scenarios: accident, verbal attack, negative study or report, and so on.

Identify the kinds of worst-case scenarios your company might face and prepare for them with the help of outside experts who can provide candid feedback on your potential scenarios, available facts, spokespersons to use, and responses to make.

What could happen? What fact-finding and decision-making process and public position would your organization take?

Who inside your organization would be involved in approving that position? If your organization were in some way to blame or at fault, what mechanism or process do you have in place to ensure that your organization would maintain a standard of integrity and truthfulness.

How could you set a process in place immediately for rectifying the situation, as compared to denying, avoiding, covering up, or even lying?

2. Get Your Facts or the Facts Will Get You.

How would the key decision-makers be placed in communication with each other quickly so they could be informed and make a joint decision? What is their advance standard of how fast they would commit to making a decision? Would all of them be involved in the decisions related to financial commitments involved in decision-making? If not, who would be?

Who inside and outside your organization would have the most reliable information most quickly, and how would you reach them most swiftly, should the situation require speed?

Who outside your organization should be contacted first to be informed of the organization’s stance and action?

Who inside your organization would inform whom, and how, and how fast?

Who are your most powerful allies and critics, in general and on this kind of situation?

Who could counter each critic? Who, outside your organization, would be most likely to comment on the crisis first (which reporters, other food experts, consumer activists, government officials, and so on)?

What approach would each of these people take (positive, neutral, or negative) toward your company’s situation and subsequent position? How knowledgeable and credible would they be?

Who are your credible current and potential outside advocates in these situations?

How can you deepen their knowledge, support, and able advocacy of your organization, in advance of such situations?

3. Be Vividly Specific and Compelling.

In general, what is the most vividly specific and accurate characterization of your company you would give in any discussion? Is it of interest and understandable to those outside the food industry? To see how difficult it is to be vividly specific and credible, peruse the advertisements in your nearest publication as compared to the headlines. It is hard to be

a) interesting,

b) accurate, and

c) timely when you have an interest at stake (your organization’s reputation) and a committee (your colleagues in the organization) to decide on the final message for an ad. Think of the increased difficulty of being all three if you were facing the heat of a crisis.

When writing or speaking to gain attention and credibility, consider the best third-party source of information and the briefest way to characterize their findings. Whenever you can, quote an impartial expert from that source. Better yet, have that person practiced and prepared to respond, and you be the echo.

Most adults, especially the more educated they are and the higher on the corporate totem pole, tend to talk in lengthy abstractions, full of terms of art and qualifiers before they get to the point or respond to a question.

Turn your comments and answers upside down and begin speaking in the “pyramid style” of good newspaper writing — all of the most important facts in your first sentence, with each subsequent sentence an elaboration, offering layers of supporting detail.

Use specific examples, contrasts, vivid details to make your quote more quotable than an opponent’s. Speak English “like it tastes good.” Use the sensory, situational adjectives of full color, not the grayness of dry abstractions and wordy generalizations.

4. Verbal Snapshots Penetrate the Mind and Linger.

Speak in word pictures. Whoever most vividly characterizes a situation usually determines how others see it in their mind’s eye, think about it, discuss it with others, and eventually decide about it. Those much-maligned “sound bites” are not bad of themselves.

They prove you can get to the point quickly — and you know what the point is.

They reflect a respect for the listener. They set people up to be interested in hearing more.

They provide anchors by which people can remember your supporting points. They are “verbal snapshots” that penetrate the mind and the gut in an instant and then linger like a vivid after-image.

5. Be Brief to Build Rapport.

Your brevity brings you other benefits. You are less likely to be misquoted. The interviewer stays engaged and feels more comfortable, because he feels in control as he guides the questions. You have more opportunities to complete your comments naturally with your short aside — the positive characterization you have created of your company, received feedback on, and practiced shortly after reading this article.

6. Make Unlikely Allies Before You Need Them.

If you haven’t yet done so, conduct a Stakeholder Analysis in which you and your associates in top management identify all of the key influencers who can alter people’s perceptions of your organization. These influencers might include labor leaders, stock analysts, reporters (industry, business, women, consumer, and other beats), civic and community leaders, vendors, customers, politicians, and activist groups.

Then match each key influencer with a “key contact” in your organization — ideally one who already has a relationship with that person that the influencer can maintain and nourish by providing genuine support for that person’s interests and for those they share, unrelated to your company. A strong key contact system is your company’s best crisis insurance and a long-term investment few companies have.

Further, find friends and allies inside and outside your industry who can be knowledgeable alternative voices to yours. Inside the industry, look for credible experts or opinion leaders with a constituency that is overlapping or apart from yours. Outside the industry, look for people who are respected and who have some connection with your organization or the people you serve.

Consider the “Rule of Three” for reinforcing the reality and the perception of broad, diverse support — whenever two people who represent interests apparently much different than yours, and who might not even look like you, speak out similarly to you on an issue, the credibility and newsworthiness of your stand is multiplied.

7. Be Plainly Clear.

Patterns literally distract. To be heard and respected, avoid wearing any kind of patterns, especially on the upper half of your body — patterns break up the attention span of anyone looking at you so they do not listen as long nor remember as much. Other patterns of distraction are ambient or distinct background noise or voices and motion, yours or that of other people.

Attempt to speak in a place of visual and sound calmness. People do not have “earlids” to screen out noise and can get distracted. If others are moving around you, listeners are less attentive.

If you walk or gesture quickly, you do not look assured or truthful. The more you move your body or your arms, the less people will be able to listen and find you credible. Avoid “hand dances.” Gestures that are high, fast, and frequent, especially above the waist, rob you of credibility. Use lower, slower, and few motions to illustrate a point. As with using a lower, slower, warm voice, your gestures should follow the “less is more” notion.

8. Look to Their Positive Intent, Especially When They Appear to Have None.

One of the surest and most deserved ways to build credibility and respect is to display grace under pressure. Another person’s vigorous, personal attack against you, while uncomfortable in the short term, is actually quite advantageous.

Genuinely praise some specific action of the person who has criticized you. Because most attacks from critics are not a complete surprise, you usually do have some time in advance to anticipate that they might attack again. Be specific, direct, and truthful. Find some part of the attacker’s current or past statements, actions, or motivation with which you can truthfully agree. In most cases, if you can’t do this, you are too entrenched in a narrow perspective against them and thus more vulnerable to counterattacks.

For example, if the apple industry experts had

a) first praised Streep for her obviously sincere concern for children’s health and the “possibility” that the waxy coating on apples could be injurious to them and then

b) moved on to welcome the attention her comments brought to the matter (not “issue”) so they could

c) explain the value of the coating, the public reaction might have been different.

This idea is akin to product positioning — position your positive comments in direct and vivid contrast to the attack. Two statements are thus placed like two products, side-by-side for close comparison.

Be the First to Say You’re Wrong When You Are

Say you are sorry. Say it soon. Prove you mean it. Say it in person, if at all possible. Say it first to the person or persons most damaged, no matter how much you’d rather avoid that uncomfortable situation. Otherwise, the situation will metaphorically stick to your feet like tar paper, forever pulling people’s attention toward it and away from any subsequent good actions you take. You’ve made the taint potentially indelible, the stink longer-lasting.

Act as a Potential Future Statesman, A Hero Out of the Ashes

More than any other kind of situation, there can be no ambiguity about the steps you must take if you want your organization to have future effectiveness. For those rare instances when you or your organization is in the wrong or has caused damage to others, the sooner and more heartfelt your apology, the more sincerely and positively you will be perceived and the more quickly the forgiveness can begin, especially if your apology is directly coupled with your explicit and adequate plan to rectify the matter. Ironically, acting well in times of crisis creates a rare kind of happiness.

Tags: moving from me to we, kare anderson, collaboration